🍝 Mr Murray Moneypenne 🍝

Role: Regional Manager at Busy Bee Inc.

Species: Penne Pasta

Appearance: Red bowtie-wearing plate of spaghetti with a permanent frown and noodle-thin limbs

Work Attire: Pinstripe suit, shiny shoes (somehow), constantly adjusting his imaginary cufflinks

💼 Day Job

Middle management with a passion for pivot tables. He speaks only in buzzwords and strategy speak. His hobby is micromanaging employees via vague, unhelpful feedback. Always in a meeting, never doing actual work.

🧠 Personality

Slick, vague, and slippery
Master of delegation without direction
Claims to “lead with empathy” but has never remembered your name
Never breaks a sweat because pasta can’t sweat

💬 Signature Quote

“Let’s circle back offline and realign the synergies.”

🫠 Struggles With

PowerPoint formatting
Empathy
Deciding between KPI and OKR
Being taken seriously by other sentient carbohydrates

🎶 Favourite Song

Money, Money, Money by ABBA

📦 Fun Facts

Claims to be “on a wellness journey” but lives on espresso
Has unread emails from 2017
Owns a bluetooth headset he never turns off
Can’t stop scheduling “quick check-ins”